Home of The Naughty Stories Series
Well, that just about sums it up. Maude’s fallen asleep, snoring, and I can’t find my ear plugs! Then I see we have a text from Pushkin, who, naturally, is always up at this time of night… There is a link to a site in Cyrillic, and some rather grisly photos, followed by this rather …
“I have the body of an eighteen-year old. I keep it in the fridge.” Spike Milligan From my point of view this Milligan is pretty dark. You don’t expect a comic to think like a mass murderer. In Italy we have many comics. Unfortunately, they are all in politics. My friend Patti says they are …
“I don’t conquer; I submit.” Casanova he old lothario certainly has the bragging rights. Though if you ask me it’s pretty fucked up when a man believes his prowess is solely linked to his libido. I didn’t know the ladies suffered from the same affliction until Instagram came along and persuaded them otherwise. Giorgio tells …
“When the heart speaks, the mind finds it indecent to object.” Milan Kundera Italians always say London is grey. It is the common place, as we say, you English the cliché. And I thought the same till a certain lady friend took me for a little walk along the Embankment, just before the sun is …
“You only live twice. Once when you are born, and once when you look death in the face.” Ian Fleming “There is a third, but you won’t know it until you get there.” George Giorgio asks me if I ever look death in the face. My natural inclination is to avoid the question, which just …
“A gentleman is simply a patient wolf.” Lana Turner “A wolf is simply an impatient gentleman.” Giorgio A friend of mine, Patti, is a very important psychiatrist in southern Italy, I joke with her, she cannot become my shrink. We know far too much about each other. Anyway, besides being a shrink, Patti is also …
“When I gain a pound, it’s in the headlines.” Kim Kardashian Giorgio shrugs. I don’t understand all the fuss about the Kardashians, he says. Weight gain is like corporate reality. It’s an Anglo- Saxon construct. But I beg to differ. Actually, I think you’ll find, old chap, it goes back to Ancient Rome. I have …
“I never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television.” Gore Vidal Now the above quote is very clever or as we say spiritoso, but it is not the case when it comes to Frissonance, which Astrid who is into these things says is a kind of echo with a shudder. I like …
“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody. It saves so much trouble.” Rudyard Kipling I didn’t understand this expression until Giorgio explained to me: when things go wrong… Somehow it seems appropriate to this chapter. When Giorgio says it, he has resignation in his voice. You can’t escape circumstances, the mind playing tricks …
“Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.” Saint Augustine I think this is a very English concept, but when you read the stories in this chapter, you realise the concept is universal. Full stop. Punto. (Like the car). George says I should write more. But I am not a writer like him, or a …