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The Screenwriters

“Suck my finger.” “No, he doesn’t say that yet.” “When does he say it then?” “He must wait a beat.” “The beat is so crucial.” “She’s working on him.” “By the way, where are they?” “You’ve forgotten.” “In the Jacuzzi?” “That’s right. There’s Live and Let Die on the soundtrack.” “The Wings’ song? McCartney?” “No, …

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The Washerwoman

“I want you,” said Andy, kissing her passionately. “You can’t have me,” she said, kissing him back. “Oh, come on, am I that bad looking?” “No, you are actually very handsome.” “So, what is it?” “You are not clean.” “How do you know I am not clean?” “Unless you have washed in the last five …

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The Hitcher

It was a cold day, as he remembered it, sometime between Thanksgiving and Christmas. He had the chains on the wheels because where he was going to a friend’s log cabin for the weekend, there was a risk of ice on the road. When he saw the hitcher up ahead of him, he did not …

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Risky Business

“You only live twice. Once when you are born, and once when you look death in the face.” Ian Fleming “There is a third, but you won’t know it until you get there.” George Giorgio asks me if I ever look death in the face. My natural inclination is to avoid the question, which just …

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The Maître D’s Gaff

It is a well-known conceit of Italian life that both husband and wife are happy to take a lover or a mistress, but neither are willing to contemplate divorce, since neither wishes to upset the equilibrium in which the other lives. The case of the lawyer Pelligrini who had arrived with his wife and two …

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Very Bad

Jerry believed this about himself: he would always be in debt to the powers-that-be but in credit with the opposite sex. He was indeed a good-looking fellow, and not only that, he had whiff of rakish class about him. The devil-may-care smile, the mop of unruly but not untidy hair, the loafers and the tailor-made …

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At the Clinic

When he arrived with his wife at the clinic in Valencia, Lorenzo was understandably anxious. His wife, however, was in a buoyant mood. “Lore’,” she whispered. “Mi piace questo posto. È molto pulito! Very clean! Sono molto disponibili. Very professional.” She smiled as the nurse handed her the information pack with the white crest of …

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Under the Table

“Bonjour.” “Ca va.” Jean-Luc waved his way through the open plan office on his way to the meeting room. He loved the meeting rooms at the office. Sure, they were OK for meetings or calls, but it was the frosted glass that provided all the entertainment. On the glass that separated each room, the frosted …

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Signora Grande

Paola could feel the tension churning within her as they drove through the village to Giovanni’s family home. The housekeeper was out to greet them and help Giovanni with Paola’s bags. “Come sta? How is she?” “She’s awake. She finished her lunch. Buonasera, Signorina.” Paola smiled back. The house was set well back from the …

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Giorgio and the Count

“Papa, will you give me a break… Yes, I am going to see the clients in the morning.” Giorgio hung up in exasperation. He lit a cigarette. He was still fuming at his father when he saw the Count standing at the bar. Giorgio had not seen the Count for a number of years. He …

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