“I want you,” said Andy, kissing her passionately.
“You can’t have me,” she said, kissing him back.
“Oh, come on, am I that bad looking?”
“No, you are actually very handsome.”
“So, what is it?”
“You are not clean.”
“How do you know I am not clean?”
“Unless you have washed in the last five minutes, you are not clean.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes, it is my only rule. I never break it.”
Andy let go of her and looked her in the eye.
“I have a bidet in my room.”
“So?”
“Well, if I go and wash, what then?”
“Not good enough.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
“So what do I have to do?”
“I have to watch. To see you do it properly.”
“You are kidding, right?”
“No, I never joke about this. It is my one rule.”
“Well, if that’s what works for you…”
They stood opposite each other in the bathroom.
“What are you waiting for?”
“Okay, okay,” said Andy, lowering his trousers.
“Now wash,” she said, handing him the soap.
Andy squatted down and began to lather himself.
She stepped back and watched him without saying a word.
When he had finished, she made him stand up. “Now the other side.”
Sighing, Andy inched his way round and squatted down again.
A moment later he stood up and reached for the towel.
Andy turned round.
There was no one there.
He sighed
“Second life wins again.”
*
“I thought Bill didn’t know much about girls.”
“This isn’t a story about girls,” said Giorgio. “It’s about washing properly.”
“I’ve never understood why you Italians are so obsessed by personal hygiene.”
“George, you wouldn’t eat from a dinner plate that was dirty.”