Home of The Naughty Stories Series
The Garden Paths One cannot deny, as the poet once said, there is pleasure in the pathless woods. Here in the Garden the pathless parts of the wood are not always safe, although I have no doubt they contain many pleasures. These pleasures one can enjoy from the safety of the paths, and yet the …
On the Garden Strawberries The strawberries of the Garden are perhaps that rarest of rare things. Gnomes, both young and old, will ask me: “What is the magic of strawberries?” To which I reply: “Strawberries are the magic.” As soon as they disappear, they reappear. And yet, paradoxically, whey they disappear, they reappear. Who can …
On Jeu du Mall Who is not familiar with the common garden game played with mallet, ball and hoop? The Garden game is not exactly croquet, but its roots must surely be from the same tree. If I fear I must accept some responsibility for certain irregularities and anomalies in its evolution, the Garden game …
Upon the Bole Hall One cannot deny there is a kind of innocence in the Gnomes. Indeed, the Mistress will sometimes get frustrated with them for what she perceives as their gullibility. But if they are gullible, I wonder if it is such a bad quality. They will accept what you say and never question …
On Music Once upon a time the Garden was all black and white. When Anatole arrived here, he brought with him the colour of otherworldly music. First, there were the records, which the gnomes called CRACKLES. “What is this strange sound?” they asked as their legs began involuntarily to dance. “Why, this is Dixie Land,” …
On Being Green Gnomes, of course, are green-skinned, which is in itself a thing rarum. Of the green-skinned gnomes there are many shades: dark and light, dappled and piebald, rich and bright to match the many shades of green in the Garden. If we can say they are green-skinned, gnomes are also green in their …
On the Treehouse To the gnomes, it goes without saying, the clearing is a special, even sacred place. No one is permitted, they say, to live within its bounds. To which I reply: if no one is permitted to live within its bounds, who is to say that one cannot live above it? If that …
Upon Feasting In modern society, it may be noted, there is a horn of plenty. Every day may be a feast of delicacies from the cheese counter and the delicatessen, or the cake shop and the patisserie. If we modern beasts and men have forgotten what is special about a feast, the Garden dwellers know …
On Choices In life, as in the Garden, one does not always have a choice. One is born into a family, one grows up in a town, and one goes to school. These are never our choices. But there always comes a time when one has to make choices. One can make a choice that …
Gnomisms Bole Bop – a gnome dance A Beebop – any kind of musical instrument The Bole Hall – the gnomes’ gathering place Butter Girls – ethereal maidens who serve Twang and live at the Wet Cornies – unicorns Crackles – LPs or records Dumdums – fauns and satyrs Fuzzy whirls – croquet balls GRs …