Home of The Naughty Stories Series
Harry was a painter. He had painter’s overalls, a van and a ladder. Harry was pretty fit and good looking but, while he had some successes with girls, his big mouth nearly always got him into trouble long before he could test his charm on female company. One barmy night in June he finished up …
Sabi had been away on business in the north. When she got to Raff’s place, he was out, so she phoned him on his mobile. “Where are you, amore?” “At the Poly. – Where are you?” “Sitting on your bed.” “With or without your undies?” “Porco, when are you coming home?” Sabi hung up. As …
“I’ve only got two days so we should get going,” said Ric. “What bar should we go to?” Rav smiled. “You don’t need to go to bars anymore,” he said. “What? You’re messing with me, right?” “Well, you can. But you don’t need to.” “What do you mean I don’t need to? How else am …
Sebastien was rather large and fluffy, and often nervous. When people came to the flat, he would run off to hide. Francine would call after him: “Come back here, you silly scaredy-cat!” But Sebastien was not in a hurry to meet guests or their children. He did not enjoy Francine’s pastis and pot-filled soirées. Sebastien …
It was a running joke. And then it wasn’t any more. For years Jim had commented on the possibilities of the Carper Beater. “What about it, Jules,” he would say, peering at her across the top of his thick spectacles. For years Julie had blocked him away with the straightest of bats. It all came …
Often people will drop things. It is one of the hazards of living in a block of flats. Pegs break, especially the new plastic ones, which is why he preferred the old wooden pegs. A t-shirt or one of a pair of stocking socks or a pair of no-nonsense knickers can find their way onto …
She was, by her own estimation, the restless type. She lived on the edge of her nerves. It was an edge that she might fall off at any moment and precipitate into the void. One day, she knew would have to deal with it, but for the time being, she chose to ignore it and …
Nicknamed the Ragno, or Spider, Guido was the innkeeper of a notorious tavern. For a fee husbands and blackmailers could make use of the spider holes that had been fashioned in the bucolic scenes and the taxidermist’s dreams that hung on the walls of the chambers. Guido made no secret of his enjoyment of such …
It was unrequited love. She was a large woman, and he had a thing about large women, but Lola wasn’t interested. “Don’t be silly, Phil. You’ll get over it!” No matter how hard he protested, she would not take him seriously. She was quite happy to go drinking with him, or even out to the …
“Suck my finger.” “No, he doesn’t say that yet.” “When does he say it then?” “He must wait a beat.” “The beat is so crucial.” “She’s working on him.” “By the way, where are they?” “You’ve forgotten.” “In the Jacuzzi?” “That’s right. There’s Live and Let Die on the soundtrack.” “The Wings’ song? McCartney?” “No, …