The Half Days

Eight Hundred and Thirteen Martyrs

There is no bombast, no similes, flowers, digressions, or unnecessary descriptions. Everything tends towards catastrophe. Castle of Otranto, H. Walpole “Here in the south, as I am sure you know,” said the priest, who was a little, pink-faced gnome of a man with thick-rimmed glasses, “we have an expression: Mamma li turchi! One tells it …

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The Joker

You and Her

The school used to give us a cheque, every month, to cash in the Banca Commerciale. By the end of the month I was always a bit short of cash. Although I kept something back in an envelope that slotted into the upright desk in my room (I trusted Katarina and Amelia implicitly), that month …

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The Joker

Badge of Honour

I can never really relax beforehand; I am always looking round for something to do, even if I will invariably end up winging it; when my tax card came in the post that morning, I thought I had found the perfect conversation piece. “It’s been the running joke of my life here,” I said at …

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The Joker

The Neighbour’s Clogs

Sabi had been away on business in the north. When she got to Raff’s place, he was out, so she phoned him on his mobile. “Where are you, amore?” “At the Poly. – Where are you?” “Sitting on your bed.” “With or without your undies?” “Porco, when are you coming home?” Sabi hung up. As …

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The Joker

The Motorino

Like most young professionals, Roberta owned a motorino. If there was nothing special or flash about it, it was the sort of little motorbike that could get you from A to B. Though she did not have much affection for it, she was attached to it for practical reasons and always made a point of …

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The Half Days

A Tale of Envy

I was in the middle of a translation; and, as it was a particularly tricky one, my brain was starting to fog with quibbles, so I stepped out onto the balcony and stretched. From my balcony, I should point out, if one looked left, one could make out the blue of the sea. It was …

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The Joker

Cofi and the Lion

Leaning against the wall of the old university building, Daniel took a joint from the pocket of his wide pants. Cofi went wide-eyed: “You smoking that here?” Even though it was broad daylight and people were milling about, Daniel had no compulsion about lighting the joint. Cofi kept looking up and down the street to …

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The Joker

Lamb’s Wool

If Katarina and Amelia had always felt rather sorry for Guisi, they were in two minds about inviting her to their party. “What’s wrong with Guisi?” asked Patrick. “Nothing,” said Amelia. “She’s a little dull. That’s all.” “She’s not dull,” said Katarina, “she is spectacularly boring.” “You mean she’s a little dyed in the wool?” …

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The Joker

The Swimmer

By his own estimation of the waters you did not need to know much about Piero to know things were looking decidedly lumpy. His wife had left him two years before for a fisherman; his one and only daughter had moved to the north – apparently also in pursuit of a fisherman; as a consequence, …

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The Joker

Baggage Reclaim

Once upon a time, in the days before we all had little wheely bins to take on Ryanair or Easyjet, Patrick had a black Roncon suitcase with a blue strap around its middle to secure it. When it did not come up on the carousel, he went outside to smoke a cigarette. Finishing his cigarette, …

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