Pharaoh Snarfu, or Phil the Pharaoh, as he was known to his mates, was hunkered down at the back of the building site waiting for the High Priest to pass him the reefer.
“That’s some shit you found this week, Dave.”
“It’s from the new crop I’m growing in my field down by the Nile. I have to watch the slaves, or else they get totally wasted and never pick up the stones.”
The Pharaoh inhaled. He could feel his body begin to unwind, the first sign he was entering the trance.
When he passed out, Dave and the slaves picked him up and laid him out on a bed in a nearby ante-chamber.
When the Pharaoh woke up, he was Dazed and Confused.
“Hey, Dave?”
“Yes, mate.”
“How far have they got with my pyramid?”
“About half way up, Phil.”
“It needs to be smaller.”
“Smaller? – Who the fuck wants a smaller pyramid?”
“You don’t get it. I had the vision thing. My pyramid’s gonna stand for thousands of years.”
“I fucking hope so after all the stones we’ve dragged up here.”
“I’m serious. My people will invent great things including a machine to wash dishes, a machine to talk with and a machine that flies.”
“Fuck, man. This shit’s really good. I gotta charge more.”
“Actually, I’m getting quite disturbed.”
“So am I. This new field is gonna be a gold mine. Anyway, why does your pyramid need to be smaller?”
“If we build my pyramid as planned, the machines that fly will crash into it. This is why I dreamt it would have a red winking candle on top.”
“A red, winking candle? – Fuck, that’s wild!”
Phil the Pharaoh was suddenly enthused.
“Yes. So that the machines that fly can see it and not crash into it.”
“Surely it is so large that they will see it anyway?”
“It doesn’t matter. I have decided I hate the idea of a red winking candle. I am not a birthday cake.”
“What the fuck are you, then? The only thing better than a birthday cake is a Christmas tree”
“Fuck off, Dave. Make the pyramid smaller. I don’t care how.”
*
“I doubt there will be anything like a pyramid to mark the spot when I shuffle off.”
“You mustn’t talk about that.”
“Why ever not? We all have to go some time.”
“Still it would be nice to have a big tomb, but for that you need a lot of servants like the Pharaoh.”
“Darling, not servants. – Slaves! Their whole world was in slavery, lest we forget.”
“I’ve only seen the pyramids in photos and I haven’t seen this one before.”
“Funny to think they get all the others right apart from this one. It does look odd when you see it.”
“I wonder what really happened?”
“It is one of the eternal mysteries.”