Jamie Overstall grew up in Cambridgeshire in the Sixties. His parents were both Dons. Jamie was a precocious child who never quite lived up to his parents’ expectations. When he announced he was training to be a museum curator, they remained slightly disappointed. The truth was Jamie was not interested in bookish debates, though he was still interested in the classics.
In his twenties Jamie started buying and doing up classic cars and selling them on for a profit. One of these he kept back, and that was the Fair Morgan. It was his pride and joy. Not a little of that pride and joy did he communicate to the Cambridge girls who liked to be driven into the country with the wind blowing through their hair.
One day, Jamie was out with an Emmanuel Girl when he began to sense something was wrong. “Oh, no, old girl,” said Jamie, as he went round to open up the bonnet, “let’s hope it’s not the gasket.”
“What appears to be the problem?” said the Emmanuel Girl.
“Ghost in the Machine,” said Jamie.
“I don’t believe in Ghosts,” said the Emmanuel Girl.
Jamie laughed.
“As a matter of fact, they do exist. I’ve got one in my flat.”
“Now there’s a line if ever I heard one,” said the Emmanuel Girl.
“All sorted,” said Jamie, closing the bonnet.
He got back in the car and started the engine.
“No more ghosts here.”
“If we go back to my flat for lunch – nothing more intended – I promise you will see one.”
The Emmanuel Girl sneered as she entered the flat behind him:
“Don’t tell me, your little ghostie comes out to order?”
But Jamie said nothing.
He laid two places for lunch, poured her a glass of wine and took her into the living room.
“So where is this ghost then?”
“Patience, my dear. How is the wine?”
“Lovely, thank you.”
“When you have drained your glass, we’ll go back into the kitchen for lunch and you’ll see.”
She scoffed at him.
Why had she bothered? Men were so full of crap!
She downed her glass and looked at him. “Well, come on then. Let’s see your ghostie.”
They re-entered the kitchen. There were now three places laid at the table.
The Emmanuel Girl went white and shrieked. She wrapped herself around Jamie in terror and it took the rest of the day for him to disentangle himself.
Next time, he thought to himself, I will stick to the Fair Morgan.